Three top-notch tricks to become the 'Best Captain' in Cricket

I will present three top-notch tricks which captains have successfully used in cricket to get the best out of their players. Not only in India but also the whole world. Sometimes it has also helped the opponents to perform well too. Captains over the world are now requesting the ICC to make these "tricks" as rules.

Disclaimer: The tricks mentioned below are practiced for years by professionals. Please don't try this at home/field/office/school.

Number 1:

Ask your “menace” player to hit your strike bowler with a bat.

Result: This is more of getting the icing with the cake. The "menace" player is banned and the affected player is match-fit. He will lead your bowling attack throughout the tournament. In fact, he will demoralize opposition and go on to become one of the best bowlers in the tournament.
{In reference to Mohammed Asif-Shoaib Akhtar-Shahid Afridi incident}


Number 2:

First make a team mate your "like" brother. Once you play for a different team treat him like your "half" brother. Congratulate him after the match. Wait for him to say "Hard luck!". The moment he says that slap him. Wait till he cries and them ask your coach to clap at his state.

Make him your "like" brother again. Convert an "on-field" matter to a "family" matter. Declare the matter over but raise the matter to your boss.
{This is also more of a WIN-WIN situation. Reminds me of the WIN-WIN model by Roger Pressman}.

Result: The captain gets banned for the rest of the matches. The "like/half" brothers hug each other. They stay in the same hotel room. The "half" brother tells that it wasn't a slap but a shake-hand in the "wrong" place. The "half" brother starts bowling excellently. Consistently picks up wickets in the future matches. In fact, commentators laud him and tell that his thought process is now "clear".

{In reference to Harbhajan-Sreesanth slapping incident}

Number 3: {This tops the list !}
First call your opponent a monkey. Then argue that you never called a monkey a monkey. Find out words rhyming with monkey and argue that you told those rhyming words in place of a monkey to a monkey.

Result: The whole country supports you. Monkeys are suddenly elevated from their status. Politicians use monkeys as symbols for their parties. There’s an emergency parliament session for the issue. Zebra crossings are changed to Monkey crossings. Monkeys are given 27% quota/reservation in zoos/sanctuaries. India wins the CB series.
{In reference to, Harbhajan-Symonds racist abuse row }

'Ganguly should coach Team India'

Hi folks,
I am particularly impressed with some Indian talent which has come up during both the ICL and IPL. TP Singh from ICL really looks good. However, coming back to IPL Indian many players have showcased their talent on the big stage. None better than Ashoke Bhimchandra Dinda.

This lad is nippy and has an economy of 6 RPO in a tournament where bowlers have struggled to keep a stranglehold on the batsmen. In this form of the game, having an run rate of 6 RPO shows this lad has some talent in him.
After 7 matches and bowling 138 runs for 5 wickets and an average of 27.6 this guy surely can bowl. Looking halfway through the tournament, only Yuvraj Singh (Kings XI Punjab), Sourav Ganguly(Kolkatta Knight Riders), Sohail Tanvir(Rajasthan Royals) and David VijayKumar(Deccan Chargers) are having better economies than Dinda. However, all the bowlers in the list have bowled significantly lesser amount of overs than Dinda. The next best economy rate is Glenn McGrath who in 7 matches for the Delhi Daredevils has bowled 28 overs (goes to show he has bowled his full quota every time), bowled 2 maiden overs (one of them was a wicket maiden) conceding 171 runs and bagging 6 wickets. McGrath’s economy rate is 6.10 at an average of 24.42.
Nonetheless if a bowler is ahead of Glenn McGrath in economy after playing equal number of matches he certainly has something.

What makes it difficult to play Dinda is his high “kangaroo” jump action. It is his action itself which gives him the nip in his bowling, taking into account his height. It takes a while for a batsman to get used to him, quite similar to Sohail Tanvir. These two bowlers in fact have lot of similarity between them.
Both are nippy, both have an awkward action and both bowlers need time to get used to. Which in turn works at their advantage as T20 just doesn’t have the time. Moreover, both of them open the bowling and with the field restrictions on, batsman are looking to capitalize. However, what makes Dinda stand out is his more than nippy bouncer. He can really get the bowl to rise on the batsman and if it’s well directed can get the batsman in trouble.

Dinda now needs to learn a few more tricks of trade. Aged 24, it’s only his temperament that can militate against his success. He should learn to keep himself calm under pressure and maintain his composure. If we are looking for a guy to bowl first change for India I think he {though Ranadeb Bose might be a good contender well} might be a very good option. Dinda must also learn that it’s good to be tacit sometimes. One more thing that concerns me about Dinda, is his wicket taking abilities. He has got 5 wickets and I want him to add more to the tally. Bowlers, however, economical they are must be able to take wickets. He would probably learn that in time that wicket taking is an art rather than a science as Wasim Akram says.

Finally, it’s clear Ganguly’s backing has bought this little man here or rather another little man here. According to few of my friends from Bengal{who are close family friends of Dinda}, Dinda has been completely supported by Ganguly financially. Ganguly bore his expenses for a training camp in Australia where Dinda must have learnt quite a few things and developed into the bowler he is today. He comes from a small family from Midnapur district and his family isn’t a well off. He was a last minute addition to the Kolkatta Knight Riders side {needless to say due to Ganguly} and has certainly proved worth every penny spend on him. Another example of Dada’s generosity.

I would just go to add that Ganguly certainly can’t be the captain any longer but he can be the future coach for Team India, considering the interest he has shown to coach as well. On a lighter note, I think he now knows where the power lies.

Commentary advertisements in IPL

Something has been really irritating me ever since this IPL started.
The typical advertisement words used by commentators during the match. It’s sounds so silly and incorrigible.

Three advertisements that are frequently used :
A] DLF Maximum Sixes award: Phew! This rules the roost over most of the other commentary advertisements. Every time a batsman hits a six, and the commentator will start the radio, “Another contender for the DLF Maximum sixes award”. What a dud! It’s the similar AIR type where the jockey used to say “Dharti phat gayi, Aasman girne laga aur aakhon ke saamne andhera chaa gaya”

B]Pepsi: Their advertisement frequency has gone down now but nonetheless they were irritating. In the middle of a cricket match, the camera was focused on commentators having Pepsi. What’s more, the commentators used to adulate Pepsi so much as if they were grown up on Pepsi, not milk !

C]CitiGroup: This is a new entrant I noticed yesterday. Every time a wicket falls or something good happens for the team the commentator starts, “ This is surely a Citi moment of success”. Give me a break, what has CitiGroup got to do with a bowler taking a wicket or batsman scoring the winning runs?

Advertisements do help to generate revenue but it’s best if we kept these out of the ground and especially outside the cricketing domain expertise. No wonder SetMax bids high for telecast rights and gets the money out as well.

The IPL body instead of just putting a gag on players speaking to the media must also put a gag on the telecast right owners for the betterment of cricket and globalization of the sport. We have new crowds getting attracted to T20 and cricket certainly doesn’t want to lose popularity due to advertisements irritating the viewers.